Buffalo gals won't you come out tonight?

Well I don't know if the Buffalo gals will come out tonight, but they were out today! I'm on a brief break from school until my summer class starts up, but had to venture into Freakland to turn in some paper work today. Now perhaps I've been too stressed and busy, but I haven't been seeing any blog worthy freaks lately, that's why I was so excited to find this little gem, sitting in the grass under a tree, there she was in all her glory. A little skater looking girl with a buffalo hat on. A buffalo hat you ask? Why yes, a buffalo hat, reminiscent of Fred Flintstone and his Water Buffalo hat.

*note not actual girl, but same hat*
Why in god's name would someone, a girl nonetheless, decide it was ok to wear a buffalo hat? Now, I'm certainly not one to preach, I'm not a girly girl, and can wear some odd things just because I damned well want to. But the urge to put on a buffalo hat has never struck me! I take that back...if I saw it in the store I'd put it on so my husband could laugh at me as I pretended to gore people. But, to wear the hat in any serious manner? Your name better be Fred Flintstone or He Who Wears Buffalo Hat of the Buffalo Hat tribe.

A picture of Fred Flintstone in his Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo regalia for reader reference.

Oregon Bigfoot Symposium?? Bwwwwahahahahahahahahah!

My poor old POS car was running short on gas today, and as we coasted into the gas station on fumes, at the pump next to me was a SUV with www.oregonsasquatchsymposium.com allll over the side of it. They have a symposium? Really? Is it for the 5 kooky Bigfoot hunters who took some bad acid once upon a time, or is it for the Sasquatch themselves? As I was having fun giggling to myself, picturing a Harry and the Hendersons-esque Bigfoot Conference, I think the guy driving the SUV thought I was checking him out. Um. No. No, I'm sorry I'm not into Sasquatch believers. Now if it had said Chupacabra Unlimited, or The Loch Ness Monster Consortium, well then maybe.

So to all 8 of you that are going to the Sasquatch Symposium, I really wouldn't advertise the fact that you are going, or that you believe in Bigfoot so fervently that you go to actual meetings about it. Really, people who go to Star Trek conventions are way cooler than you. WAY cooler. And no I've never been to a Star Trek convention thankyouverymuch.

Slow week, a classic inspiration for my blod

I have my second set of midterms and finals looming upon me right now, so life is kind of hectic. And who the hell has 2 sets of midterms, the last one being 2 weeks before finals?! Some sadistic bastard thought that one up. So here is a short video of Portland at it's finest. We were downtown, I don't even remember why now, but heard drums, and walked over a few blocks and found this. Perhaps this is THE Portland Freak Parade? I personally like the yuppies walking their dogs dancing along with it, it just screams Portland. So without further ado....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qg2B7YZ_fA

Screw the train, there's plenty of freaks to be had by car!

So I've decided to revamp my blog, forget freaks on the train, as I've given up on taking the damn train. Too scary and way too long. But I keep seeing blog worthy freaks on my every day non train adventures. My husband keeps going, "There's one worthy of a blog post!" And there was one this weekend, that made me get off my ass and get going here again.

So you, Mr. Rainbow Serape, with a white plush bunny rabbit head hat on, you, you alone inspired me to come back here, and keep making fun of the Portland Freak Show! Yes, he had on a rainbow serape. Yes, he had on a white plush bunny head on as a hat. It looked freshly decapitated from someone's stuffed bunny...and, I haven't given you the coup de gras yet. Brace yourself, because THIS is what got me back here. The decapitated bunny head was wearing a tiny sombrero!! Yes folks, a bunny sombrero. Only in Portland.

This conversation was also had..
"Is that a man wearing a dress?"
"Hmmm...yes, I believe it is"
"Ah"
Because what else can you really say. It was kind of like Gallagher in a house dress. Nothing fancy, just an everyday dress, for some errand running around the city. Too bad we didn't catch him on an evening gown night.

We sadly missed the Zombie flash mob, but did see a Zombie Removal Van, and were kind of wondering at the time. We did get to see Adam Carolla's (my secret hero, god that man can bitch!) show, which is why we ventured into the freak zone. We did get to eat some good Greek food, and best of all, we got to see some rare and vintage freaks!

Keep tuned for more! I'm back in business baby!

I will abstain on telling you about the naked bum in the sleeping bag, talking to himself, and possibly jacking off...

I've been very bad, I know...

Well Christmas break happened, and I sure as heck didn't venture anywhere near Portland. Then the new term started and I've been driving instead of taking the train. The train takes at least an hour and a half, which is what it takes me to drive on the WORST traffic days. Plus when I get out in the afternoon, I can get home in roughly 25 minutes. It's hard to justify sitting on the train for an hour and a half when I know I can be home in 25 minutes! So I'm sorry, the freak sightings have dwindled to almost nothing.

I do have a good one to report, albeit belatedly. We went out for a fancy dinner for our anniversary in December. We decided to be politically incorrect, and went somewhere where foie gras was served, because we had never had it, so we ended up at a yupptastic French restaurant in Portland. The foie gras was...eh. It was like eating bacon fat I thought, the texture was just....wrong. But as we were sitting there a woman comes in with a very interesting looking orange stole around her neck and sits at the bar....hmmm...

Now, let me tell you, dressing up in Portland isn't quite like dressing up in other major cities, not even Seattle. Nice jeans will pretty much get you in anywhere here without a second glance, even the expensive trendy places. So an orange stole, while odd, isn't anything too out of the ordinary for here. I'm kind of observing lady with the stole at the bar, the stole looks like it may have seen better days, kind of mangy looking. But wait! She's taking it off and looping it over the back of her chair! It's not a stole silly! It's a freakin stuffed monkey! Duh! Remember those freakishly long stuffed monkeys from the 1980s that would hang on doors? That's what it was! I guess that is Portland's version of fur??

We had a nice dinner, because hey lets admit it, a freak sighting always improves the evening. But we had to sit at big communal tables that seem to be in fashion at trendy places here. So help me, I will never go back there because of it. We had to sit next to picky yuppies who were determined to shoot their mouth off about how important they were, which of course inspired Jeff to start talking about things like, hunting, knives, and pick up trucks. Sigh. It's hard being a redneck with high class tastes sometimes.

How to spot a freak who is proud of their freakishness...

You have to applaud the freaks who know they are freaks, and embrace it. I saw this bike at school today. Now I never saw the owner, but I'm guessing they fit nicely into my freak category. Because this is a freak-cycle if I ever done saw one!  Pardon the horrible photograph. My photo editing software has mysteriously gone missing since my husband worked on my computer last... But this Swan Cycle is really a work of art, and ingenious! They can stash all their freaky little things in there as they are going to art class, or philosophy, or perhaps poetry 101? But thank you person with the Swan Cycle, you made me laugh my ass off this morning, and made the security guards look at me like I was going to swan nap the bike.

I did happen to see a worthy addition to the Freak Parade today. I think we've all seen this guy somewhere. It's the fat white kid, who thinks he's ghetto, and is listening to his Ipod and dancing and rapping along while he does so. You know, he's got all those gittin' jiggy with it moves straight out of 1993. Please, please, I beg of you chubby white boy, pull up your pants, quit rapping and bustin' a move. You look like a damn fool.

Doesn't really fit into a nice category...

Now I've not been slacking, I assure you. But the freak sightings just haven't been up to expectation lately. So with that in mind, today's may be a bit of a stretch, because she didn't quite fit the freak category.

A woman, in nice business casual wear sat across from me on the train this morning. Well dressed, well groomed, so I didn't pay her much attention. She started rooting through her big bag, like a pig after truffles, and that kind of caught my eye. She soon pulled out a big plastic bag (like the kind you put veggies in from the store) that was at least halfway full of pens. I'm kind of casually watching out of the corner of my eye now... She proceeds to test every single pen in the bag out, and then sorting them into 2 piles. I'm assuming the working and non working pens? I found this a wee bit strange that she had chose the train as the place to carry out this activity, but whatever. She then digs back into the bag and gleefully pulls out a metal nail file with a pointy end. She then, with great concentration and attention to detail, proceeds to clean out each and every fingernail. Hmm..That's something I usually attend to before leaving the house, but again, whatever. Then after the manicure, she then pulls out a toothpick! Yup, goes to town with that baby, her dentist must love her.

Now she seemed like a nice woman, smiled at people sitting down, helped a kid out with directions for stations, but her choice of things to do to kill time on the train was rather unique! I think she needs to ask Santa for an Ipod.

No other classes for the rest of the week thanks to an in-service. Whoohoo! Let's keep our fingers crossed for some good freak pickins next week. Maybe Halloween will bring some out?